With Time, Comes Freedom

 

 

 

 

I can’t believe it’s been exactly one year ago from today. One year since he was supposed to be enjoying the fireworks in my hometown with me and my family. One year since he chose to spend the holiday with someone else. One year since I received that midnight text that said, “Babe you’re gonna hate me” and my world came crashing down. One year since he made that pinky promise through those heavy tears that he would spend July 4th, 2016 with me instead. One year since I experienced the agonizing pain of losing someone I loved and accepting the fact that my love was not enough to make him stay.

I have always dreamed of having that special someone that I would bring to the family gatherings such as Easter at Grandma’s or Halloween at my aunt’s or  New Years at home with my immediate family. But this, this was different. 4th of July festivities in my hometown have always been my absolute favorite. We explore my dad’s old high school. We watch the parade. My dad makes him famous popcorn and I bring the fudge. We play volleyball and catch while we wait. Blankets are laid out. We enjoy the best firework show around and if we’re lucky, we get to take home pieces of the fireworks that fell gracefully from the sky. The whole holiday means so much to me as it takes place in my hometown as well as my dad’s. I have always wanted someone to be a part of this. Last year I thought, finally. Finally someone who I absolutely knew I want to share this with. But God had other plans and I can honestly say that I’m so glad that He did.

I’m so thankful that I still have the chance to share something that is so special to me with someone who is very special to me. God has worked it out for me to save this experience for someone who wants to be there just as much as I do. Someone who will appreciate my love for traditions, my family, and the place I come from. Although 2016 won’t be the year I bring that special someone to share these things with, I look forward to the day when that finally happens.

Looking back, it’s been a rough journey to get to my current state of mind – my current place of peace. However, I am finally able to tell our story without tears or getting upset. I no longer have emotional ties to you that bring up anger or bitterness whenever I hear your name.I have fought to keep peace in my heart. I have also learned perhaps the hardest lesson yet – how to let go of those who are no longer meant to be your life. Such a hard lesson to learn, and so much pain to go through in the process, but oh so worth it.

So this weekend, I won’t be spending time reflecting on the events of last year, but I will be enjoying my favorite day with my family instead with a joyful heart. I will also feel proud of myself for what I have overcome since the last 4th of July and in knowing that, I know I can overcome anything that life throws my way.

I have heard that time heals all wounds and with time, comes freedom.